We all have one of those family members that do not know the meaning of “appropriate” during the holidays.

They might be rude, inappropriate, hug you a little too long perhaps?

To help you get through those times, we’ve put together some awesome tips to keep your holiday gatherings jolly.

Focus on yourself mentally.

Don’t worry about how bad it will be or how awkward.  Try focusing on the good things like the loved ones you want to serve your favorite apple pie that will be there. We also encourage you to have an online counseling session to resolve some unresolved issues. Gateway2Counseling.com is your objective friend and just a click away for help anytime, anywhere.

Be realistic.

Don’t spend too much time trying to fix things if you can’t.  The reality is that you are just not going to get along with everyone, none of us are and that’s okay!

Some people are dominant, others timid.  Some people are loud, some people are quiet.

And that’s all okay.

Avoid trigger topics.

Think about the possible topics that can create an emotional reaction for you or for the person you don’t particularly enjoy.  Usually these topics include politics, religion, breakups, etc.  Avoiding these topics or exiting the conversation as soon as possible when they arise will make you encounter easier.

Getting through the holidays can be tough, but it doesn’t have to be.

Stay lucid.

This means no drugs or alcohol.  Keeping your wits about you is essential to managing these kinds of encounters.

Set up a wingman.

Find a person before you head to a gathering that can look out for you and relieve you from any less-than-comfortable conversations.

Repeat.  It’s not about me.

You may think it’s about you when a family member calls you flaky or lazy, but it is not.

“What they say, what they do, and the opinions they give are according to the agreements they have in their own minds… Taking things personally makes you easy prey for these predators, the black magicians… But if you do not take it personally, you are immune in the middle of hell.” – Don Miguel Ruiz

Pick a mantra.

Pick a mantra that you can say to yourself when you start to feel a little irritated.  You can even bring along a little token or coin to have in your pocket to remind you of it.

When you feel pushed towards irritated, hold that coin and repeat your mantra.

Some examples:

Take it easy.
I will stay calm and carry on.
Slow down.
It’s not the end of the world.
All is well.

Rehearse Beforehand.

If you know there is a specific family member that you know is going to bug you, rehearse the conversation ahead of time and think of a solid, mature response.

And remember, just because someone asks you a question, does not mean that you have to answer it.  Feel free to steer the conversation away from those topics and towards the ones you don’t mind.

Allow yourself time to recover.

Even if you did all of these tips during your holiday engagements, you may still come away from the night feeling exhausted, bruised, or a little deflated.

And that’s normal!

Just because you did the work, doesn’t mean the blows you received didn’t hurt.

Think of some activities that you enjoy and indulge yourself a little.  Enjoy, you deserve it.

And of course we are here for you. Gateway 2 Counseling provides online counseling, wherever and whenever you need it. Your objective friend is just a click away at www.gateway2counseling.com

Enter our gates to a brighter tomorrow.

Getting through the holidays can be tough, but it doesn’t have to be.