I am a woman, man. Mother, daughter, past wife. Father, son, husband. I am black, white, Asian, French, Indian. I am a student, business owner, teacher. I am weak, strong, short, skinny, fat, rich but poor. I am Catholic, Buddhist, don’t even believe in anything. I am heterosexual, metrosexual, bisexual. I am a victim of abuse, survivor. I am the one you ignore and try to forget that I exist.
Who Am I? It’s complicated. “I have become all things to all, to save at least some.” 1 Corinthians 9:23
We live in a society where it can be very confusing discovering who we are. Everyone wants to tell us who we should be. What we should believe, what we should do with our time and money. How we should behave or teach our children to behave.
Does anyone really have the answers?
Self esteem can get better. Learn how you can increase yours and others.
Self esteem is about first knowing who you are. Not who others say you should be. It is a process. It begins during infancy. Our parents love us, feed us, nourish us and protect us. This loving environment helps us to develop into contributing adults. Hopefully. But we all know children who grow up in the same house and turn out completely different. We say, oh, he was the middle child. Oh, she was the baby of the family. We make excuses for one’s behaviors.
Or worse. A person can be born into a family who does not provide. There is no food, no shelter. Instead there is foster care. Moving from home to home. Lock facility to lock facility, caught in the Child Protective System until 18years of age. Yes, they call is “Protective” but children become more damaged, having no real family and not knowing what love is or who they are.
We have divorce parents. Children caught between two waring parents. Or the child who returns home from school to a parent sleeping at 4pm in the afternoon due to drug use. Now this 9year old child must become a parent to his younger siblings. Must find food for all of them to eat.
But hey, we have wonderful families too. Families who provide for their child’s every want and need. They spoil their children. Yet, the results can be the same. The adolescence girl who has $100 in her pocket at all times begins to feel unloved by the father who must work 14-hour days to give his family the “perfect” life style. Soon little Mary is during drugs and having sex to fill the void of missing love that she can’t see from her parents.
Who Am I?
In a society consumed with violence, this is the most important question a person can answer. Mass shootings are becoming common place. According to statistics, most mass shootings occur at schools and places of business. This should make each of us stop and consider what is happening to the people right next to us.
Video games with violent content is accepted. YouTube videos glorifying physical aggression gains numerous “likes”. Adolescences encourage their peers to fight so they can video the event and post it on social media. Here is your 5 mins of fame.
Why am I talking about this? Not all mass shooters are young adults or adolescences. You are right. But all mass shooters start down the same basic road of developing a poor self-concept and low self-esteem.
Self esteem can get better. Learn how you can increase yours and others.
I am here to give you the tools you need to help everyone you meet to increase their self-esteem. Yes, I said everyone. It starts with something as simple as a smile. A hello. A how are you today. Yes, it’s that simple. It starts with showing everyone you meet that they are important and that you noticed them.
Then, within your own circle of influence, you can work wonders. Take 5 mins to actually talk to someone. No cell phones. No computers. No TV. Don’t text, chat or message. Really talk. It’s amazes me how people no longer want to talk to one another. Sit in a restaurant and watch how people can be at the table together and on their phones, on “social media” but not even talking to the person sitting across from them.
So, let’s talk. Make time to engage with one another. Find out what’s happening in the lives of those around you. Then listen. Honestly listen to what they have to say. Show compassion. Give a hug. As a therapist, people ask me what’s my secret to helping others. It’s listening. I just listen. Then when the time is right, I teach. I let everyone know that they are special. They are loved. They are perfect as they are, where they are.
Here is a quick list of what you can do to help increase the self-esteem of yourself and others and possibility help to decrease mass shootings:
1. Affirmations- speak kindly of yourself and others
2. Be positive
3. Highlight strengths
4. Listen
5. Encourage
6. Spend time activity engaged with support system
7. Take time for yourself
8. Smile
9. Give to others
10. Know your spiritual beliefs
11. Accept yourself and others as they are, where they are
12. Forgive
13. Be kind
14. Know your mission in life and walk the path daily
15. Practice mindfulness
Thanks guys for allowing me this time. And if you need any help at all, please enter our gates to a brighter tomorrow at www.gateway2counseling.com Online mental health counseling is just a click away.
Self esteem can get better. Learn how you can increase yours and others.